I’ve come to a point where I don’t know what to do. I want to act but I’m not sure how and I’m worried that, because of my paralysis, my own energy towards abolishing systemic racism will wane.
Yesterday my friend invited me to attend a peaceful protest and I didn’t go.
Me, a woman who believes that actions speak louder than words, stayed home, clutching her beads and praying with Mary. I am a woman who believes in action, but I am also a woman of prayer. Both/and. I don’t know how to be one without the other and yesterday I desperately needed prayer. Yesterday I sat with Mary, beads in hand, whispering Hail Marys…but what about tomorrow?
This is the point in the post where I am obligated to find a bible story or a verse that connects with my tale. There always is one, isn’t there. The bible is filled with perfect words to justify our every action, or inaction. They’re there for us to find because the bible was written for us. If we look hard enough, we will see ourselves peeking through the pages. We hope we’re with Jesus, but sometimes we’re the priest or the Levite in the good Samaritan parable, leaving the half-dead man on the side of the road, afraid that our actions will cause our comfortable lives to change.
Comfort is not something Jesus promised us. He promised us love and grace and mercy and asked us to do the same for others every single day. He also warned us it wouldn’t be easy. Following Jesus never is. But following Jesus is always filled with hope.
It is my hope that we have reached a kairos moment in time, a moment filled with God’s grace, guiding our hearts towards a more full comprehension of how to act justly for all. The beauty of kairos moments is that they can stretch. These moments fall outside of chronos time, instead planting themselves firmly in a time managed by God, so this moment need not be only a moment if we have the courage to carry it forward.
In between Hail Marys and Our Fathers, I felt God’s guiding hand and now I know what I must do. The beauty of this world is that we complement one another, some resting while others rally, ready to trade places, some financially supporting those already in the field, some volunteering their unique skills to the effort. I can’t tell you how to act right now, but God can, so I encourage you to settle in and listen. What I can tell you is that if you are white, you are benefiting from white privilege and now is the time to learn so that we no longer benefit unjustly at another’s expense. Let’s stretch this kairos moment and make it last.
god forever tries 