Prayer, Uncategorized

prayer through fear

Disneyland is closed, schools are canceled and then, so must be life. Yesterday, I spent much of my day monitoring news and Twitter. I read from a woman who confidently shared her quarantine grocery list, which consisted of 5 Costco flats of eggs. Wait, do I need 5 Costco flats of eggs? People were lamenting the loss of their jobs as events were canceled. Wait. Will we still get paid? One woman shared new lyrics to Billy Joel’s “We Didn’t Start the Fire” to mark the events of the past few days. Finally, something that made me laugh. PSA – You can now find them on Tik Tok. Ask your kids.

Every few minutes I would put down my phone, knowing that I needed a break, knowing that the nonstop information was insidiously taking root in my brain. But I couldn’t. That little blue bird was like my dealer, calling sweetly, calling me back.

Multiple times during the day, I picked up my prayer book, but I couldn’t seem to find the focus to pray. Multiple times, I glanced at my Rosary, but before I could begin, the tweets called me back.

Thankfully, gratefully, my husband came home and actual conversation took the place of the whispers of the internet. I’ve never been so sure that we are made for one another, that we belong to each other. Nothing can replace the people in our lives. Social media will help us get through these next few weeks of social distancing, but they will also bring us under if we’re not careful.

Finally, as the day came to a close, inundated with information and still fearful, I let myself rest and breathe and remembered that prayer is not hard and can be done even when we don’t think we have the strength to pray. Prayer simply is. Come, Holy Spirit. Breathe in. Breathe out. Come.

And now today feels new again. The fear that comes from such an abrupt change of life is real. The disappointment that comes from canceled fun is real. The worry that comes with the inability to earn a paycheck is real. The stress that will come with having children home for weeks on end is real. The fear of the unknown is real. But these are all things we can get through together.

Maybe our together looks different for a little while, but social distancing does not mean social isolation.

We can still call friends. We can still wave to neighbors. We can still drop off supplies to those who need them. We can still offer to care for our friend’s children while they attempt to work from home. We can still donate to non-profits serving those who need us even when we can’t show up in person.

Remember who you are. Remember whose you are. Remember that you are one of the many who are here to share kindness and care and the love of God. Remember to love your people.

And remember to pray. Prayer will guide us through.

Today at 3:00pm, I’ll be picking up my Rosary beads and settling in with Our Mother, Mary, for a little peace and guidance. Join me, if you’d like, and we’ll pray together. If it’s been a while, follow this guide on how to pray the Rosary

I’ll be praying for you. I’ll be praying for us. And please reach out if you need help.

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